“Sometimes you have to give up something good to discover there is genius.”
It’s a Blue In Green kind of night. Do you know what that is? Maybe you have them, too. Maybe you play this song, or album, on repeat for hours until time dissipates into the wee hours of the night– until all of your emotions and notions flow out like water from your soul–just like me.
Is it possible that there’s someone like me out there? Someone who listens to Miles Davis and feels everything in the universe. . .the universe inside of us.
Go for meditation, someone once told me. But, I’ve never really been much into such things. What the hell is meditation, anyway? Is it really a space that I have no thoughts, no feelings, no nothing? I can’t even conceive of it like that. How is it possible for pure love to have nothing, even for a brief instant in time?
But, I went to meditate.
A dear friend picked me up one rainy night. It was dark, I was dismal, and it was a harrrrrd day. It was one of those days that the weight of unfamiliar burdens was breaking me–bending my mind and soul so close to snapping into shards of disaster–and I couldn’t see any light.
And, you know what?
When I closed my eyes, I saw inside of my soul. It had a gigantic, elaborate gate detailed with intricate swirling designs and floral patterns. It was more fantastic and whimsical than anything at Rivendell, and when it opened, a lush, colorful, and vibrant garden appeared before my eyes. I walked through the gate like a child running into an open field on a sunny day, twirling in the sunshine with my arms outstretched and eyes closed. . .my head to the sky. . .my face drenched in warm sunlight.
And then I realized, why haven’t I been here? Why haven’t I watered this garden? Why haven’t I smelled these flowers? Why haven’t I danced in these fragrances?
My soul is fucking beautiful. This place is awesome. I should have picnics here. I should have dance parties here. I should know how special this garden is. I have to water this garden.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance!”
When was the last time you visited your soul? When was the last time you really paid attention to who you really are? When was the last time you reveled in that space, that you honored that space, that you knew how much that space is worth?
“Authenticity is an internal process. . .”
So, then, if you never go deep inside of yourself, are you authentic? Are you watering your garden?
“The journey back to yourself is a heroes’ journey.”
Are you ready to be a hero? Are you ready to carry the weight of whatever burdens you have along the way? Are you ready to fight? Are you ready to really, truly, honestly be yourself? No apologies, no insecurities, no second guessing ever?
These are intriguing thoughts, right? I mean, YES! Fucking yes! Let’s do it, universe. Let’s do this THANG! Anyone else with me? All we have is NOW so we might as well not waste it. Who knows what the next life has in store, but I’m just sayin’, let’s. . .get. . .it. . .onnnnn!
Yes, dear universe, I am ready to hear what you have to say.
Are YOU ready?
“Why we are here is to trigger transformation.”
Maybe all those broken hearts we have mended are exactly what we needed all along? Maybe all that trauma that we experienced in our lives gives us a reason to be a HERO. Maybe, just maybe, that everything that happens is to trigger transformation, and maybe, just maybe, if we thought about it like that ALWAYS we would feel so much lighter. We would feel like a child running into an open field on a sunny day.
Every. Single. Day.
Wouldn’t that be bliss?
Don’t you want to be that child?
“When you have no purpose, you will accept anything.”
This concept is such a tough one for me. It breaks my heart. It disturbs my core. But, it is about balance and that is so very important.
If you have no purpose, no drive, no idea, and you just go with the flow, you WILL accept anything and that isn’t always a good idea. It’s an experience, but not necessarily GOOD for you, or healthy, or sustainable.
It is not authentic because it doesn’t allow you to DECIDE. Indecision isn’t truth. It’s uncertainty. It’s vague. It’s an illusion. . .
If we are lost in a house of mirrors, how can we ever visit that beautiful garden? We don’t even know which reflection is tangible or how to find the exit door.
And then, how do we heal? How do we become that hero? How do we water our garden?
“Transformation lives at the level of your heart.”
So, heal your heart. No matter how hard the journey seems, no matter how jaded you are, no matter how heartless you want to feel, just do it. What life is there without heart? Is that living?
Be thankful for the people who have broken your heart. Be thankful for all the love you’ve had and lost. It is all part of triggering transformation. Don’t waste your time with fear. Fear is a bad tenant in the mind and it doesn’t even pay rent.
So now, I’m hanging in my garden. I’m studying each and every flower petal, fragrance, blade of grass. . .Admiring the diamond like dew drops sparkling in the morning sun. . .Listening to the birds singing my heart songs. . .
And this is where the journey begins.
I am a hero today. Are you?
Maybe you just need to close your eyes first. . .or listen to Miles Davis into the wee hours of the night.
Yeahhhh. . . .
Be an everyday philosopher. Be a hero!